To tweeze or To wax

Waxing Parody according to Shakespearean Heather

To tweeze, or not to tweeze, that is the question:

Whether ‘tis Nobler in the mind to suffer

The Stings and Perils of outrageous tweezers

,

Or to take Arms against a Sea of follicles,

And oppose them with a Pot of Wax: to epilate, to tweeze

No more; and by epilate, to say we end

The continual ache and the thousand Natural twitches

That the Flesh is subject to?  ‘Tis  a Hair removal

Devoutly to be wished. To wax and not tweeze,

To wax, perchance to Dream; Ay, for soft legs

Or Perhaps, a Dream of a proper Brow line?

For the Dream may come true,

When thee have Dialed the Phone. Shuffle of this mortal coil,

You must give pause to the tweeze, and Respect thyself

Remove the Calamity of so long a torture;

Waxing is much quicker

Parody of Hamlet’s speech written by Heather Grecko (Hillis)